i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
