why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
