We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
