I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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