I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
