hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
