so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
