My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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