Are we in a gay sports bar?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
