that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Randomize