Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
