So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
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Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
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I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize