I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
