I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
