She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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