We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
