This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
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No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
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I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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