its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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