My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
