How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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