Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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