omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
