I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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