We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
