Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
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