Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
