You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
