Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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