she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
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I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
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I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.