Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i dont even know how to be here
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!