You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
