I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.