what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
