dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
