Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The uberlube is also flammable
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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