I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
