I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Dick very happy bro
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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