IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.