what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Text me some of your sweat
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
