I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
