I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
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