is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
