i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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