I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize