are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize