I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Randomize
