she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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