Whod you bang
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
