I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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