New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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