I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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