they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
