Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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