Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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