its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
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