what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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