while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
