Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize