Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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