Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
