Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
