i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
